Tuesday, July 07, 2009


I spend a few days a week at the pool (poor, pitiful, me, I know!) and therefore do a fair amount of people watching. In addition I spent a week at the beach last month which also provided great entertainment on swimsuits.

First of all the beach I visisted, Hilton Head Island, is known for being a bit classy and upscale as opposed to some of the more trashier noted beaches such as Daytona, Panama City, and Myrtle. Now don't get your panties in a wad....I don't care if you visit these beaches, I've been to all of them multiple times. The point is there are very different people at them.

Moving on....swimsuits.

Wow! Some of the people in their swimsuits. At HHI I saw a grandmother, she was 60 if she was a day, in a string bikini bottom that had peace signs all over it.

There are SO many things wrong with this picture. First of all no matter how thin you are string bikinis have a season and it's over before you're thirty! Second, grandma? Peace Signs? That season should be over by college graduation.

I've seen a handful of wrinkly old ladies in the teeniest, tiniest string bikinis and frankly it's gross! It's not that all the women are chubby or anything, but that style of suit just isn't attractive on their body. A more appropriate two piece would be much more attractive.

Second, teens and their swimsuits blow my mind! First of all my teenage daughter will not be wearing a string bikini appropriate for a two dollar hooker! These girls are cute and thin but why on earth can't they wear more than a postage stamp on their bums? Furthermore, how about those teens who are trying to be slutty but are actually a bit too chubby to wear such things. One gal in particular I'm thinking of would look very cute in a two piece with wider sides and a halter neck with actual straps. What is wrong with a more modest two piece that still shows skin but doesn't say cheap?

Third, let's talk about children and swimsuits! Little girls wearing string bikinis? NO WAY! Are our children not sexualized enough? We have to put elementary aged children in the smallest amount of fabric we can? Personally I think I'll make my children wear tankinis, they're cute, they're modest, and they're more appropriate for a child playing in water.

Lastly let me give swimsuit shoppers a bit of advice: just because you can get it on doesn't mean that it fits!

Can I get an Amen?

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