Friday, July 13, 2007

You've Got Mail

Dear Dove,

When shall my underarms begin feeling like cashmere?

Bumped and Rashy,
Mrs. M
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Dear Home Depot,

Do you think you could train your employees to know that they work in a home store and that you sell most things for homes and perhaps even a general idea of where these items might be? Just general, such as "in the store somewhere!" would be better than what I'm currently getting.

Also, the nice young man who rushed to our assistance when loading a few extra pieces of patio furniture, well, he could have been more helpful if he'd have quit playing on the radio with his friend (I see you! hee hee hee!) and actually, um, helped. Although he did a great job of watching me help my husband while I was wearing a dress.

Using my big muscles,
Mrs. M
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Dear Neighbors at 6109 and 6111,

Was that animal control I saw at your house? Neener, neener, neener!

Always On a Leash,
Mrs. M and Pooch
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Dear Driver on the Pike,

Although very kind of you to think if you tailgated closely enough you could push my little coupe into going faster, it was also rather annoying. Did you enjoy seeing my brake lights flash as I slowed to a meager 30 miles per hour when you couldn't go around me. It appears that you noticed by the way you flailed your arms about. Go ahead, park in my backseat if you like. Then you can be the one to buy my new 08 Escape Hybrid, and Mr. M would really like that.

Vroom Vroom!
Mrs. M

8 comments:

JayJenny said...

You continue to make me smile time and time again. I love your sense of humor, you could totally hang with me and Rusti! XOXO

Rusti said...

OMG!! I seriously had to stick my hand over my mouth so my boss didn't hear me laughing and come see why!! Especially the neener neener neener part! I'm still chuckling!! :) Thanks so much for making my day brighter - you & Britt keep me laughing (well, most days - she's not so happy today!) Jenny was right about hanging with us - we would have a BLAST! Although we'd probably mostly be laughing instead of contributing to the conversation :) Have a GREAT weekend Mrs. M!!!

Oh - and I'm sorry you had to deal with so much crap... :)

Happy Girl said...

Thanks for making me laugh!!

(Also, I know not to get on your bad side :) )

Mrs. T2 said...

I can always count on you for a laugh!! I am sure that post was quite theraputic!!!

Have a great weekend!!

Swistle said...

This was so funny!

Zoe D. said...

Oh "THE PIKE"!! Thank God I don't have to drive that hellish road any longer!!!

Michelle said...

ROTFLMAO...as usual!! Love the way you "complain". :)

Kristen Miller said...

Too funny...and very well put!

I'm especially feeling you on the letter to Dove. Granted I'm only up to day 4 of the 5 day challenge...but so far I'm not seeing any real improvements. :)