Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The one where I rant and rave about idiots.

Do you know what bothers me? Currently, there are two things (but the day is young).

First, people who cannot spell my name no matter how many times I put it in front of them. I have a semi-common name with a rather unusual spelling. The spelling is because 1) the name I'm called is short for another name that is rather old-school and was also after my grandmother, and 2) my parents had me at 17 and smoked a lot of pot. Hence, I have a name that no one can pronounce or spell. However, when I send you an email and the correct spelling is both in the email address and also in the signature, then get it right! Idiot! This is especially true if I'm perhaps volunteering to boost your organization.

Second, idiots with dogs who try to eat me. For the love of all that is good and right in this world control you stinking animals! I have my mutt on a leash, do the same with your damn dog already! Yesterday while taking a stroll a boxer got out of his backyard and came barreling down the long driveway toward us. Luckily J was with me (and pooch!) and was ready to take him. I was scared to death. I froze, then turned my back and started to cry. (Hey, if he's going to bite, it probably wouldn't hurt to take a few inches off the ol' bum rather than my face.) Well, when J told the dog he'd "mace his ass" the owner, who was chatting on his phone like it was not big deal yelled out "he don't bite" (idiot--it's he doesn't bite, not don't--doesn't!). I replied, "I'm not convinced, get a f*cking leash!" (Internet- I really am attempting to clean up my potty mouth, but times like these just bring it all out!). The dog linked above hasn't tried to eat me since a near encounter on Saturday. Above mentioned neighbors may realize I mean business when animal control shows up at their house. I mean, not that I had anything to do with that (evil laugh!).

Ugh, I just don't like animals. I like our pooch, and I can deal with dogs that don't try to eat me, touch me, lick me, or jump on me. For instance, I like Hardy and Jerry, two dogs owned by our friends the O's and the O's. But I don't even like a cat if it's asleep in a closet. And, in case you were wondering, I especially don't like idiot people and their idiot mutts that try to eat me and preshus weshus poochie woochie puddin' pie, in case you didn't know.


Rusti said...

I COMPLETELY understand the name spelling thing... I send out e-mails at work that have my name, title and office info right at the bottom - and people still spell Rusti with a Y. Today there was a memo send to everyone in our college announcing the new members of the Staff Advisory Committee - of which I happen to be one - and of course - it says "Rusty Sidel" - HELLO??? This was sent by our main HR person - who I work just down the hall from and see a million times a week and who handles all of the personnel paperwork... you'd think she'd know. But I guess not.

As for idiots who can't keep control of their animals - I'm with you. Our puppy is almost 7 months old and over 75 lbs - and yes he is still stupid enough to bark at people... but not much - and we certainly don't let him out in the yard without us to grab him if there are people walking by... especially as there are a lot of dogs in our neighborhood - and Turbo thinks that every single one of them just HAS to want to play with him... forget it dog - they don't. :) If you HAD called Animal Control - I wouldn't have blamed you... ;) Have a great night - and hopefully that idiot will have his dog on a leash or inside next time!

Zoe D. said...

Hahah! I hear you on the name thing. Mine's spelled Zoe, but pronounced Zoey. It drives me nuts when people, other than my family, call me Zo. UGH!

Mrs. T2 said...

That post was too funny!! I can totally relate to the name thing except with my last name. Even when I spell it to someone over the phone they write it like it sounds not like it is spelled!! Totally frustrating!!!

Robin said...

I can always tell when telemarketers call me, because they pronounce my last name so wrong. I always say, "Um, nope, noone here by that name!".

And, by the lovely little nickname you gave Mack...can I just say that you're already turning into such a "dog mom". :0)