Monday, August 07, 2006

What the Croc?

I can't hold back any longer. I. HATE. Crocs!

Crocs are perhaps the worst trend ever formed. Who can comfortably walk around in rubber in a pool of sweat? Isn't that why "jelly shoes" were a bad idea? Crocs are large, ugly, tacky, and I will make fun of you if you were them.

But crocs are sooo comfortable and feel so good on you feet. Yes, well, so do tevas, chacos, new balance, nike, etc.

Kids in crocs can be ok, because they're kids and they're cute. But again...who can effectively walk around in a pool of sweat at your feet? Probably not a toddler.

Yes, perhaps crocs are good for those little swim team kids because they are water resistant. Who cares!? Get some flip flops and you'll be just fine.

I'd like to give a few shout outs to the worst croc wearing recipients:

1. Big Blue Crocs I saw on Sunday--you're already big feet in even bigger blue rubber shoes made you look as if you were wearing waterskis to church. This could be hazardous to those who are trying to walk around you. Not to mention that your big blue crocs match nothing! They especially didn't match your nice khaki shorts and button down shirt. Go buy some birks.

2. Snow Blinding Crocs Frat Boy--just because you're a frat guy doesn't mean that you can look cool in any trend that comes along or any trend you choose to wear. On the contrary you looked ridiculous in your semi-filthy bright white crocs. As I watched what a ridiculous fool you looked like I pondered offering you a life preserver since I know that at any moment you'd be drowning in the pool of sweat that was forming at your feet.

3. My last shout out is my favorite. I've been harboring this since March!

Here's to you Mr. Man Who Wears Socks with Crocs. The temperature outside is a mere 51 degrees but you my friend will not be separated from your big, ugly, stupidly trendy crocs. Oh no--you will find big stark white fluffy socks to warm your piggys as you slide them into large round rubber shoes with holes in the middle of winter. Oh the feeling of being trendy has always been foreign to you and it still is! You proudly wear your socks with crocs with your ugly pleated chinos and overloaded cable knit sweater, that's right Mr. Socks with Crocs, the rest of us have nothing on you! Well, except for a wardrobe that is fully functional, aesthetically pleasing and free of car tires and food storage containers. Don't you worry Mr. Man Who Wears Socks with Crocs--we'll all be here to chuckle at you when you fall on your rear from the unsteady walking on big rubber feet.

1 comment:

girl from the south said...

Here's a tough question--which is worse? Wearing Crocs or those ugly sneaker/high heel hybrids that a certain sorority sister touted our senior year?