Friday, April 11, 2008

Home Security Drill

Last week J gave me a "home security drill." It received quite a reaction at The Roost last Saturday night. They all got a big hoot out of having a "home security drill" as he called it.

A few weekends ago we visited J's parents and he brought back his 12-gage shot gun. We have a pistol thingy of some sort around here too, although I'm not sure where, what, or how the heck to use the thing.

You see, I don't really do guns. Unlike Mrs. S who has a family arsenal, I never had a gun in my house. Therefore, they make me a bit uncomfortable. That said I've contemplated buying a small pistol (did you know you can get pink ones?), attending some target practice, and getting a concealed carry permit. I live in a very safe town, but I hear things sometimes and it makes me think I should be better able to protect myself. That said, I also don't want to be paranoid.

J brought the shotgun in and announced that he was going to keep it in the bedroom, our bedroom.

???

He proceeds to show me how to load the bullets, which by the way are called shells. Yes they are. They're shells.

Then my darling husband gives me specific instructions on what to do in the event I need to use the gun.

"Cupcake, pay attention! First, you shoot the wall and give the (expletive removed) a chance to run. It's a helluva lot easier to repair some drywall and replace a vase than to scrap his ass up off my floors and clean up the mess. Besides, that involves a lot of disclosures and paperwork which I'd really rather not do."

Well, you heard it hear first!

5 comments:

Robin said...

hilarious! my husband keeps his hunting gun in its case under our bed. i don't like guns, but i've gotten used to it. i REFUSE to learn how to shoot it, though. a lot of good that'll do me if i find myself face to face with a bad guy!

Kas said...

LOL I've totally had one of these too! Only mine included the applicable laws to shooting a trespasser in your home. Did you know that in Arkansas, you do not have the right to shoot someone to protect your property? You can only shoot them if they are threatening the life of you or your family! I think that is crazy. I automatically assume that if someone breaks into my house, they are going to hurt us if we are there!

girl from the south said...

Despite my allegiance to the second amendment, I hate guns. I've never been around them that much. I think it's generational fear.

My grandfather's 17-year-old brother was killed in a hunting accident when Maven Mom was five. The event freaked her out so much that she's always refused to have guns anywhere near her. Her fear was passed on down to me. I really hope I never have one under my roof.

JayJenny said...

That is a priceless tutorial!! Guns freak me out to, but at this point, I should be used to them. We also have a gun (or two) in our bedroom but most are locked away in the gun safe.

I say, get the pink gun Annie Oakley ;)

Alicia said...

LOL.....too funny!