Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Because I feel we're close enough to share this

Internet, I know you can keep a secret, so that's why I feel I can share this story with you. Well, that and because I have a profound ability to laugh at myself.

J and I were driving north Friday evening when I requested a potty break. He has become accustomed to my baby-bladder even if it makes him crazy. I'd crossed my legs and jiggled for about and hour and couldn't take it anymore.

I race inside the fast food joint and into the ladies' room. There is one stall open that no one would use because there was tinkle on the seat. Well I'm not playing games here so I go inside, wipe it off, get the hand sanitizer out of my trusty bag and squirt it all over the seat, and clean the potty seat.

Still I didn't want to actually sit on the seat, so I hover. I'm sure you're aware of the firm stance of power thighs with feet shoulder width apart, arms on the walls for optimum balance, and purse hanging around your neck because it shall not touch the floor!

I assumed the postion and tinkled. And tinkled. And tinkled, and tinkled, and tinkled. I began to get weak about 10 minutes into the power tinkling (I'd had 60 oz of water, 2 cups of coffee, and a shot of orange juice that day).

I felt something warm on my calf. I finished tinkling to realize that I'd tinkled on my leg! Yes, me being the ever-present epitome of grace managed to tinkle on my right calf whilst hovering during the marathon tinkling session.

So I walked out of the stall, threw my leg in the sink and rinsed my jeans. Then on the way to the car through laughter and tears I told my darling hubby what happend.

"You see darling, what ha-happened wuz....."

He rolled his eyes but got me the yoga pants from my bag and I changed in the car.

Then we left, but not before I purchased a 32 ounce iced tea. Hey, I was parched after relieving my bladder.


Kas said...

LOL You are too much Mrs. M! I prefer the old school layering of tp on the toilet seat... that way you avoid getting the tinkle on the seat in the first place!! ;)

JayJenny said...

This is totally me!! I hate public potties!! At least you had a sense of humor - and a change of clothes ;)

Alicia said...

LOL!!!!! I feel that you and I may have more in common thatn I relaized!

Kristen Miller said...

HaHa! Girl you are too much. I totally second Jenny's sentiments about the whole event. ;)