Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Cleaning the Kitchen, Three Acts


(Mrs. M is gabbing on the phone to Mrs. S and cleaning the kitchen from dinner. Mr. M has retreated to the office to study)

Mr. M: Can you go to your room if you're going to talk? You make so much noise in the kitchen.
Mrs. M: Well honey the kitchen isn't going to clean itself and it does smell of taco seasoned beef. You're gonna have to deal.

(Mr. M huffs, puffs, and blows the office door closed. Mrs. M rinses all dishes in sink, wipes counters, decides not to reload dishwasher as to not anger the beast and retreats to the bedroom to continue gabbing with Mrs. S.)


(Mrs. M carefully walks into the office to love on Mr. M)

Mrs. M: Honey, I'm awfully sorry you got so mad about your lovely, darling wife being so fabulous and cleaning the kitchen up so you didn't have to.

Mr. M: I'm sorry my lovely, darling wife doesn't understand how noise from the kitchen is amplified in the office and wonder how she manages to make so much noise.

(Kiss, Kiss)


(Mrs. M is reading in bed when Mr. M strolls in with the computer.)

Mr. M: Cupcake, just so you know I reloaded the dishwasher for you while you were in the shower.

Mrs. M: You did?

Mr. M: Of course, I just know the kitchen was going to spontaneously combust if there was a single dish, much less a sink of dishes left out for the evening, or gasp! overnight!

Mrs. M: I KNOW I KNOW!! I thought it might blow up too! I was afraid to go back in there because I thought it would be smoking by now! You're so brave! I'm glad you understand that it's pertinent to clean the kitchen as soon as the last bite of food and drop of wine is consumed!

(Mr. M rolls his eyes and mumbles something about Mrs. M being silly.....)

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