One is silver, and the other gold

My grandmother (the dead one) used to sing this song all the time: "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold." (Of course she was always singing something!) I don't think I quite understood the value of these words until I reached my twenties.

I found one of my oldest and dearest friends on myspace today. We've emailed over the years, but looking at someone's life on a page is different. It's nice to really see what's going on besides just a few paragraphs of an email. Plus it seems the longer you wait to speak with someone, the less you share with them. I hope that Ash and I are on our way to changing that.

Ashl and I were closer than close since we were in headstart and up until I moved to TN. Even after that we remained pretty close until our teens. Then, unfortunately, keeping in touch and visiting became much more of an effort. Now I know that's a horrible excuse but we were both busy girls. My visits to "home" in WV became fewer and far between as my summers became filled with work, cheerleading, and various summer camps. When I did get a chance to visit I tried hard to spend time with my grandparents who I missed more than you can imagine! The raised me (and my mom) until we moved to TN. That became even harder once they divorced and I had to split up my already short time there.

I remember we used to have sleepovers and eat brownies right out of the pan and thought it was the biggest deal ever. We'd crank up the radio and do the YMCA (she taught me the whole dance! There's more than just the Y-M-C-A part!). We used to dress up and pretend we were marrying Jordan Knight and Joe McIntyre from New Kids on the Block. We had big plans of living in matching side by side mansions on a huge horse farm where we would ride horses everyday. Ashlee was going to be a veterinarian and I was going to be a lawyer. We would watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit over and over again. I was always jealous of her amazingly detailed and intricate Halloween costumes that were made by her grandmother. I remember her marvelous Rainbow Bright costume as well as Sacajewea in the third grade, which meant she got that part in the play because of her costume. When I moved we both got a special Babysitter's Club postcard book to write to each other. We loved those books! We'd often mail our new books back and forth when we were finished reading. I remember a postcard she sent me that said "you will always be my best friend, even if you moved to Japan, you'll still be my best friend." Knowing how I keep everything, I'm sure I still have it! When I cried and cried on the car ride home after watching My Girl and she just didn't understand why "because it wasn't like any animals died." A comment that my dad remembered for years to come.

Which brings us to another point, our dads went to school together and were good buddies in high school. I can't imagine that gray hairs that gave our grandparents. Growing up in Man, WV in the 70's I'm sure is something to talk about. I remember how excited we were to spend the whole weekend together at their class reunion shortly after I had to move. Unfortunately though, Ash and I both lost our dads at a young age. We both know how it feels to have a hole in your heart that you could drive a bus through, and how no matter how hard you try, holidays will just never be the same.

Ash and I also headed down the same career path upon entering college. We were both always natural writers, and both received Communications degrees and Journalism and PR. I thought it was so neat when I found out we were doing the same things and could talk about our internships etc.

Ash is definitely a kindred spirit. We have more in common than I think even we know. My friendship with her definitely makes me realize the meaning of those words.

Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.

No matter how many hours and miles are between us, and how many wonderful people we meet along the way, Ash will always be like gold to me. I think you learn in your twenties who your real friends are, who is important in your life, and who is worth spending your time on. You don't need to hold onto dead weight of those who don't enrich your life and have significant meaning. You don't need to have loads of friends who are merely just acquaintances. I'm glad I've learned that lesson early.

I shut out on a group of girls in college and my life has been so fulfilling since. It was hard because I thought they were my 'best friends', but really, they were just girls I'd met who I had very little in common with. I was so over fake personalities and judgmental acts. I knew it wasn't me, and then I finally realized that I was a strong person, I knew who I was, and the LB doesn't put on an act for anyone. (So if you didn't know, now you know!) I considered trying to sugar coat the whole thing and still be friendly with them, but no, that was absolutely not necessary. I was getting away from the fake, catty, immature behavior and moving on. Since moving past them I've actually found my best friends who are real, genuine girls! It was so liberating and relieving to get out of the world of cookie cutter images and be free from watching people switch personalities to be whatever fit the moment. I've now found true character in beautiful people who I know will remain my friends forever. (Who else would drive for hours across states, hop planes, and plan road trips to attend a wedding you only knew about for two weeks?)

I know that I will maintain friendships with those that are important to me, those who I've developed a relationship with and who are certain to be friends forever. I've learned that it's not important that you be friends with everyone you once were. Most friends are situational and will come and go in your life. But I'm happy that I have several of silver and gold.