For Your Entertainment

Saturday morning I received a call from my boyfriend asking me to dye Easter eggs with him. His mother had offered but he was very insistent saying he "only dyes Easter eggs with La La."

J and I went to babysit on Saturday night so we set up shop for some egg dyeing fun. Girlfriend immediately swooned J into going to the market for more eggs.

Boyfriend is obsessed with (you're not going to believe this) rednecks. This kid loves talking about rednecks.

Just a sampling of some of the things out of his mouth, followed by fits of laughter:

As soon as we walk in the door:
"Hey J, you wanna play rednecks?"

When his dad heads down stairs:
"Hey O, bring me a beer!" followed by "that's what a redneck says."

When finishing up the applesauce in his bowl he dove his face in it to lick it clean:
"That's how a redneck eats."

When hearing a loud car go by:
"There goes a redneck."

Out the blue:
"Hey La La, I went into the woods once and I saw mice, rats, and rednecks."

Other fabulous quotes from the evening:

When his parents arrive home his dad opens the fridge to see several cups of Easter egg dye.
"Sweet, La La taught the kids to make jello shots."

Then, Mrs. R asks how Bear (a mere 3 months old) was to which my darling husband responds:
"Oh, she ran around raising hell all night."
Followed by: "She was great! She was held, rocked, kissed, fed, changed, she could only have been better if La La would have given her a boob."

So after Mrs. R and I chatted for quite a bit, it was after midnight when we were on our way home. Suddenly my memory sparked and I realized I'd forgotten my pill that evening. This is how it went:

Me: Ugh! I forgot my pill, remind me to take it as soon as we get home.
J: What? The three kids all night didn't do that for you?

Yes, this is my life.

Time spent in the freezer aisle

I'm not a lucky person, I rarely win anything. However, at a Married Life Today Conference at our church this morning, J and I were chosen for a game of Deal or No Deal. We won a pretty sweet date night package."Howie Mandell" did some good improv and at one point while talking to the "banker" shouted out "Yes, I know know J's head looks better than mine!" We were rather entertained.

Today was rainy and I was planning on finally making the bedroom curtains that I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about. However, J had other plans. So he took me to lunch at a yummy little Italian place and then we went shopping. After his little spree of two hundred bucks, I'd say I get a nice free pass when I head to the outlets when Bex visits this weekend, right? Furthermore, since he bought a nice khaki suit that means that since our anniversary is in 28 days, that he should wear it, and I should play in my wedding dress, and it will be fun. That's totally a rule, right? You play in wedding clothes on your anniversary?

During our shopping I had an overwhelming sweet tooth that just would. not. go. away! J and I stopped by the grocery where I found thin mints! Well, not exactly thin mints bu the store brand of a cookie that tastes exactly like them and were only a dollar! A dollar!! I just may eat thin mints every day for the rest of my life. A dollar! The Girl Scouts should just buy and resell them, they'd make more money that way. So after I nearly tore open the package and ravaged them all right there in the cookie aisle we were on to ice cream. Sadly, the amount of time J and I spent in the ice cream aisle is most definitely more than the time we'll spend name children. After much debate he got strawberry for a milkshake with fresh strawberries at home. I finally (finally) decided on chocolate chip cookie dough. My thoughts? Well, it's kinda like the mint chocolate chip I wanted and I can eat it with the cookies. But I can also throw in in the blender with peanut butter for a peanut butter milkshake and that will be tasty too. I mean pb and chocolate chips and the cookie dough will be like pb cookies. That makes sense, yes? I know I could have totally gone for vanilla and achieved the same desired outcome, but that seemed too easy.

No, I'm not pregnant. At least, not that I know of.

Quote de Jour a la My Hubba Hubba

Background: Extreme caffeine intake in the afternoon and evening has been known to keep my husband up late at night. Especially the sweet tea variety of this caffeine.

Tonight I had JLK and Hubs had a business dinner with some associates who were in town.

Me: You didn't have tea did you?
Hubs: No, I had beer.
(pause)
Hubs: What? There's no caffeine in it.

Well, I guess he has a valid point.


*J also said the funniest thing when we went to The Orangery. It was one of those moments where I said "That's a quote!" And I was so excited to share it, but I forgot it. And (obviously) still haven't remembered it. I know I should have broke out my post its right there with the wine.

The. Biggest. Fight. Ever.

My darling J likes to often bring up issues that would presumably cause us to have The. Biggest. Fight. Ever.

The thing is, J and I really don't fight. Now, we're both always right, which is to be expected when two rare and perfect individuals such as ourselves, join in the holy sacrament of marriage. Moving on, we're both rather stubborn, and can pitch a pouty, whiny, fit that I probably shouldn't talk about because, wow, that's kind of embarrassing. Anyway, this results in a few stare downs, pausing only to eat, one of our favorite activities. Oh, and we pause for other favorite activities too. Because I know you wanted to know that.


Back to the. biggest. fight. ever. There are things I do that really (I mean really!) annoy J and he likes to point out that if my behavior would cause a certain effect, then we will have the. biggest. fight. ever.

For example, should I ever get another ticket for rolling through the stop sign on our street, we will have the. biggest. fight. ever. (I kinda admitted that the ticket only changed my behavior for, oh, about two weeks. Guess that was my first mistake!)

Also, should his window ever get broken because I decided to leave my purse in his car, we will have the. biggest. fight. ever. I take my purse everywhere out of habit. However, if we're just running into the gas station that has my favorite little soda fountain, I just throw it in the back seat. Also, when I know he's going to load my arms up at the Home Depot because we presumable need only 2 items yet walk out having spent $100. So, if my doing this results in his window getting broken and my purse getting stolen, (You know, it did happen to one of the women that report on channel 10 when she was driving the channel 10 explorer downtown...) we will have the. biggest. fight. ever.

This always makes me giggle. Every time he jumps high upon his cute little soapbox about such things, I giggle. Like now, thinking about it, I'm giggling! I mean seriously, if the window is busted out of the car, don't think we'll have bigger problems? And if I should get another ticket for blah blah blah....well, I'd cry, and run, and hide, and never ever tell him about it.

I'm currently attempting to throw some things at him that would cause us to have the. biggest. fight. ever.

Any suggestions? I know someone out there has had a funny the. biggest. fight. ever. Please, do share!

I don't make the rules...

A recent conversation with my hubba hubba regarding the fact that he has to buy me nice jewelry for every child I have. (Now don't get excited, I'm so not preggars!) For example, for the first child he can get me that pretty-pretty ring I printed and put on his desk.

ME: Honey, you know you have to buy me pretty, shiny jewerly every time I have a baby.
HUBS: Why do I have to do that?
ME: It's the rules! I don't make the rules, I just follow them. Actually, it's probably more like a law.
HUBS: (blankly) Huh?
ME: I mean, I'll reciprocate and all. When you have the babies, I'll buy you nice jewelry!
HUBS: (thinking...) Well, what if it's not mine?
ME: (getting pouty and whiny) HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! That's not niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Since grad school is taking up a great deal (ok all) of my husband's time, I decided I'd jump in on the fun. So, I wrote him a paper. A really good paper. Probably the best one in his class. Now, of course, I'm going to have to write all of his papers so the professor sees consistency and doesn't think that (gasp!) his wife wrote the first one or he slacked off.

I'm just naturally a writer. Once, I woke up two hours before class and cranked out a 7 page paper on a book I'd never even seen. I got a B+. The note on the paper said I would have received an A if I'd have done the actual assignment, but that the paper was excellent so I'm getting a B+. Hey, I'll take it!

J and I had no clue that the MBA Program was going to be a swift kick in the bum as it is. I'm not sure why we didn't expect it since it is an MBA. MBA's in general are pretty prestigious and strict programs. It's not a no-brainer type programs equivalent to underwater basket weaving. I expect that if I choose to attend grad school this year, my program will be quite a bit easier. Well, that's what I think now anyway. It will writing intensive, and hey, that's my thing.

Perhaps the School of Business J is attending will just grant us both MBA's. I am writing the paper's after all. I think they should, that's what I call a dual-degree program!

So does anyone else have the education blues? Did you or your lovely attend school, while having a full time job, while being a newlywed and/or planning your wedding, while also doing lots of other stuff that requires a little time and effort, while......

Tell me your educational stories, good, bad, ugly, grad or undergrad.

Dishcloth, A One Act Play

J: That's gross!
Mrs. M: What?
J: To use a dishcloth more than once.
Mrs. M: Not to me.
J: It is to me.
Mrs. M: How would you know? You've not even used it once.

Quote de Jour

A couple more good ones:

"Something about Monday's make me the housewife from hell! I feel the need to do on Monday what everyone else does all week! And I shed! It's not dog hair in my car, it's Mrs. S hair!"--Mrs. S


"Oh he's lying in the den watching TV, probably thinking of what's going to ail him in the morning"--My Dad (obviously not recently since he's dead and that would kinda freak me out) when I asked him what my little brother was doing. Little brother was infamous for being a hypochondriac and avoiding school or coming home from school as much as possible. Once Dad died and he had no one to come pick him up, he was cured!

"I know I'm right, I'm good lookin' too! It's just something I've learned to deal with!"--My Husband