Oh, Saturday
J likes to frequent a local thrift store that benefits a rescue ministry. A guy he works with often finds pretty great stuff there (skis, bikes, etc.) so going to the thrift store is like our winter garage saling.* (We're huge garage salers, in case you didn't know.) I usually gracefully bow out of the trip, but my darling husband convinced me to go with him.
So many good anecdotes here. First, it's hilarious when you see something left over that you donated to the store. For example I was poking around on Saturday and see this lovely candle in a champagne flute that says "(Podunk) High School Prom Class of 2000" and I laugh uncontrollably. It was mine! I even made J take a picture of me with it. They were practically giving it away for only 89 cents. However, I was distraught that they'd separated it from the matching picture frame with album inside. I mean really...it's a set.
Next, J and I have never spent more than $5 in a thrift store except for one time I think he spent $12, although I'm not really sure what he bought. So without further adieu, this quote from my darling husband sums it up:
"We're so tight we squeak when we walk
Seriously, we spent $76 in a thrift store. Quit laughing now...keep reading.
First, J found this lawnmower that looked pretty good. Then he went back for a double take. It did look brand new. There was a hand written note (obviously in an elderly persons handwriting) saying how great it worked and just needed a yearly tune up. J inspected checked out the brand new blade on it, etc. and we decided to purchase. We'd contemplated a new mower anyway and if it didn't work he was going to resell it. Total price: $69.99.
Furthermore, when we got home and looked at all the other stuff inside of the plastic bag with the handwritten note, we found the original receipt where the item had been purchased at Lowe's for (are you ready?) $450. FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS! And, there were receipts where the oil had been changed every year. This thing is practically brand new! I know, your mouth is on the floor. I can't believe it either.
Next, I found this darling antique coffee table. I didn't need it really, but could totally replace the table in the living room. This one seemed much better suited for my decor anyway. Isn't is cute in my living room?
I decided I had to have it too. Total Price:$24.99
Go ahead, do the math. That brings our subtotal to about $95. But oh, no no! See, we had a coupon! Yes, the thrift store puts a coupon in the school coupon book so we got 10% off of the table. AND, it was bingo day. Since the mower was considered a miscellaneous item (you can't play bingo on furniture items) you could roll the bingo thingy and whatever the percentage off was on the ball the came out, you got it. What did we get? That would be 24%, the highest possible. So once all the discounts were taken, the cashier accidentally took an extra 10% off the entire purchase and decided it was too much trouble to fix, thus bringing our total to $76 and some cents.
Go ahead, fall out of your chair and laugh your bums off. I told you how thrifty I was, and this takes the cake!
As if the day couldn't get any more splendid, I give you....SATURDAY NIGHT
Dinner and drinks with the S's and Y's. Somehow, fun always finds us. After the guys (and Mrs. Y) had had a few six packs and Mrs. S and I split a large bottle of Beringer (put down the phone, don't call AA just yet, we also split lasagna and cake!) the following comment** perhaps was made:
"(Mr Y's) penis is like Pavlov's Dog, it's ready to go when it hears the security alarm!"
And we all nearly fell out of our chairs. Isn't it great to have friends you can be totally obnoxious and inappropriate with? I'm certain that with this group we always find our way to inappropriateness. Ok, so maybe Mrs. S and I lead the way.
*Saling? Selling? Anyone?
**Comment made during a story where Mrs. Y said that construction had caused their power to blink for several nights and sent their alarm signal off when the power kicked back on. She said it was wake her up in the middle of the night and she'd jump on Mr. Y. Given our slightly inebriated states we had a high schoolers sense of humor and the above comment emerged. Either you're rolling on the floor or you're not really that fun.
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