Dinner

The in-laws are coming for dinner tonight, please send wine! Two bottles if you will.

I suppose it could be worse, it could be my parents coming to dinner tonight. That would be awkward since I don't exactly get along with my uterus donor of a mother in the form of a legal document, and my dad is dead. Yeah, if he comes to dinner would you kindly get one of those little ammonia thingys to wave under my nose and pick me up off of the floor? Thanks!

P.S.* Don't forget to send a little cheese with my whi-- wine!

So Many Title Options....

I cannot decide which of the following suitable titles best describes how I feel right now:

• Praying for death, death will not find me
• I could be a meth head and I'm counting the minutes until I can (safely) take my next sudafed
• I think my head is going to explode, I wonder what's in there
• I.....Just.......Want.....To....Sneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze (again!)